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And now I bring you the conclusion of Lena and Daphne. This was a struggle to write for a few reasons. I love Lena, she snarky and fun, she will be missed. I also wanted to give the story the ending Lena deserves. There were a couple of options for how to go about this and I picked the one that Lena told me to.
I’m certain it will not please a few readers, but as a writer, I have to follow the characters and what they are telling me, and she was telling me this was how their story concluded. I hope I did right by her. (and Daphne)
Please favorite, rate, comment, and send me some feedback…
*******************
It had been a week since the diner and Daphne. I refused to run with her. Shay kept asking me why. I finally told her there was no way I could, I was too attracted to Daphne. There was no need to tell Shay more details. Details would only muddy the water.
I wished she would release me from my promise, but she didn’t. Maybe if I was honest with her, she would. Maybe not. I was keeping it to myself to protect her, to not change the way she sees Daphne. It wasn’t like I would do more than enjoy her a few times and leave anyways. It was better to just stay away and stay quiet.
I ran later, now that the nights were getting longer. Never at the same time, and never the same exact circuit. Shay was better. So much so, that I was getting ready to tell her it was time for me to move on. I had several clients I was going to have to travel for in the next few weeks, it was time. Time to move out of Small Town USA.
“Lena, come on. I just want to go out to eat at the diner. With you. It’s been a week since you’ve gone anywhere.”
What was I to say? Nothing that was in my head, that’s for certain. What was in my head would only make Shay mad at me.
“Fine.”
She drove. Ruby made a big deal out of not seeing us, me, in days. This town had gotten entirely to used to me.
Shay picked the same damn booth we had been sitting in for months. The cracked vinyl got on my nerves more than ever. The way it grabbed at the fabric of my sweatpants when I attempted to slide across it, reminded me of the way Shay was clinging to me, keeping me here.
“Coffee ladies?”
We both said yes. I craved something stronger, had been since I arrived in this town, but the urge was harder to ignore now. I hadn’t had a drop of alcohol in over four years. Not since Shay’s parents died in a car accident.
Our food arrived. One bite in and I was glad we had come. I ate with glee. Shay was a decent cook, but it didn’t compare to the way the comfort food here made me feel.
If I was going to miss anything about this town, it was the food at this diner. The thought no sooner entered my head, when the door to the diner open and Michelle, then Daphne walked in. Fuck.
I hadn’t seen her in a week. My body reacted the moment she entered my field of vision. My eyes closed briefly, opening just as someone sat down next to me. Her. Michelle with Shay. Her thigh hit mine.
I couldn’t focus enough to do anything but be semi-polite. She smelled so good. I bet she tasted just as good. Knowing what her lips felt like was torture. She was dressed like she usually was when she wasn’t running. Clothes that were baggie, that hid her curves, that left everything up to my imagination, and my imagination liked playing with her.
“Lena.”
I looked at Shay, “What?” My voice came out sharper than I intended. “Sorry Shay. What?”
“Michelle asked if we wanted to have dessert with them.”
Can Daphne be my dessert? Please and thank-you. Except, I knew I would just walk away from her, run even, like I had twice now. What kind of coward had I turned into?
I was preparing to answer Shay, when there was movement on my thigh, just a gentle brushing, but it didn’t stop. I managed to spit out, “sure”. One finger, maybe two, slowly moving back and forth, back and forth, as we sat there. This girl was playing the game I loved the most, but I wasn’t going to play along. I couldn’t. Oh, how I wanted to be able to though.
I started talking to Michelle, moved myself over to my right a little as I did, breaking the contact between Daphne and myself.
One thing I had gotten good at in the months I had been here, was small talk. I asked about her kids, about everything I didn’t actually care about. In turn, she asked me about my work.
“It’s going well.” It was. One perk to refusing to leave Shay’s house for the last week, I was caught up and even ahead of schedule on some stuff. “I’m actually heading out next week for a big meeting with a client.”
When I got back from this trip, I was planning to tell Shay I was done living here. I would give her a few days before I broke the news, and a few more for her to get used to it. Then I was going back to my life outside of this town.
“Where to this time?”
“North Carolina.” I was flying down and was tempted to take my rental car for a road trip. I would be only feriköy escort a few hours north of Mia. Mia might be the exact distraction I needed. She might also be more drama than I needed. I didn’t usually have to look far for some distracting fun. I had time to decide.
Shay and I had finished eating and Ruby came over, cleared our plates, then took our dessert orders, refilled our coffee. Daphne leaned over, closer to me, in an effort to reach the creamer. The booth wasn’t that big, there was no need for this. Her hand was on my thigh again, the whole hand. High up, pressure radiating out. Fuck. I ached for her to move her fingers back and forth again, so close to my core. Quickly, I moved my leg, her hand fell off as she sat back down properly. She was better at this game than I had anticipated.
Dessert arrived and more small talk took place. Her hand stayed to itself, her right foot did not. She was just touching me ever so slightly, enough that I was utterly distracted. So distracted, I spilled my coffee into my lap.
“Shit.” It was hot and my shirt and sweats were soaked. At least my panties had a viable excuse for how wet there were now. Again, Daphne was reaching over me, helping grab napkins for the spill. We got the table cleaned up the best we could, and Michelle told me I should go into the bathroom and use the hand dryer to at least get the sweats a little less soaked.
“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.” Daphne moved and let me by.
Inside the bathroom I awkwardly leaned under the hand dryer and turned it on. At least it was an old school one with a button, not one that was motion operated. As I stood there, the door opened.
“Shay, I’m fine. I can handle drying my clothes.” But it wasn’t Shay. I looked at her as she closed the door behind her. “I don’t need your help Daphne.”
She looked at me, didn’t reply. I turned the dryer back on as she walked over to the paper towel and took a handful. I watched as she wet them and walked over to me. I was paralyzed when she started washing coffee off my neck, then the rest of my exposed skin. Her face was so close to mine. Her lips.
I was completely unable to move. I wanted her to clean me with her mouth, not the rough paper towels. The urge to bridge the small gap between us hit me hard. The world unfolded in slow motion as I saw every speck of dust in the air, every molecule that made up the air and then, my lips met hers. One hand behind her neck. She dropped the paper towels, thrust her tongue in my mouth.
I pulled away, didn’t want to, but did. “Stop fighting it Lena.” She moved in. I moved back.
“No. We cannot do this. I will not do that to Shay.”
“Shay is a big girl Lena.”
She was also my best friend and I didn’t break promises to her. I changed my life for her. I took care of her. I didn’t do the one thing she asked me not to. No matter how much I wanted to.
“No. I need you to stop. Stop playing this game with me.” I was pleading with her now.
“It’s not a game Lena.”
“Bullshit.” She had been playing this game with me for months. I was just as guilty, but it needed to end. Now. My resolve was slowly fading.
“It’s not a game. Maybe it started that way. It’s not often a hot lesbian walks into my brother’s church. In fact, until that night, it had never happened. I couldn’t take my eyes off you, I still can’t. It’s not a game for me anymore. I like you Lena. I really like you.” She moved towards me again, brushed a piece of hair behind my ear. Instinctively, my head turned into her hand. Then I pulled away again.
“Don’t. No, you don’t. You barely know me. Only know the parts of me I brought out here. Does anyone in this damn town even know you are gay?” She was so good at hiding it even I had been fooled for a while.
“What does that matter?”
It didn’t matter. None of it did. I needed to get out of this bathroom, this diner and this fucking town.
*****
“Fuck. Yes, yes yes YES!” Mia exploded, flooding my face. I had been out of Small Town USA and back in her town, exactly two days. Back in her bed ever since. She was still unavailable, but the husband was away on a business trip and I needed a distraction. A distraction from the pale redhead that haunted my dreams. Haunted my daydreams too.
She climbed off my face, laid along my side. One hand went to my folds, her lips on my nipple. My legs spread for her, letting her tease and work me. Her fingers weren’t long and slender like the ones I wished were touching me. No way Mia could play the piano. She was a good fuck though. Not as good as the first time I took her. She was so nervous that first time. Soccer moms always were. Once was usually all it took to wake up a different side of them. I often wondered if they were ever able to come for their husbands again after spending a sleepless night with me.
One thing Mia did know, was how to push my buttons. We had spent a lot of time naked together over the gülbağ escort last few years. I pushed her off my chest and between my legs. Her arms locked behind my thighs and I rolled her, rode her. She was a master with her tongue. The way her skill level had improved between my early visits, I was certain book club, or PTO meetings or whatever tight little suburban wives called their get togethers, were more fun than I ever assumed.
It was my turn to come on her face. I fell off her. Instead of more play, I got up. She protested, but I was satiated and needed a shower. Alone. Mia used to excite me, the thrill of conquering a suburban housewife. Over the years I had more than a few like her scattered around the country. She had been a good distraction for the last few days, but I was bored now. Maybe bored wasn’t the right word, unsatisfied was more like it.
I left, knowing I would never see her again. I climbed in the driver’s seat of my Rover and headed north. There was a series of meetings coming up with a new, big client, I may as well be early.
The music was rattling the windows. I had the sunroof open, as I drove, leaving Mia in the rear-view mirror. A few hours later, the Hilton Garden Inn my client had booked for me, was in sight. My room was on the fourth floor. I dragged my luggage to the elevator and once in the room, I fell onto the king-sized bed. I was here for the next 8-10 days. Back to living out of boxes and luggage. And eating shit food. Talking to only clients. And the occasional distraction in the form of a hot and willing chick. My drive to find one was withering.
Well Lena, this is what you wanted. You wanted out of Small Town USA, away from Shay, away from the diner with the best food ever. Away from Daphne. You got what you wanted. Enjoy.
The next few months were spent as my life had been spent before Jason screwed up Shay’s. I bounced from city to city, bed to bed, filling the emptiness with meaningless sex and work. I knew this life. Knew it well. It was how I was born to live. It was leaving me empty inside. Walking into bars and clubs, spotting someone from across the room, marking them, didn’t hold the same excitement it used to. I spent more nights alone than I ever had.
My mind barely wandered from what I had left behind. Walked away from. Ran scared from. Shay and I spoke. She was doing fine without me. She mentioned the town, the people here and there, rarely Daphne. It didn’t stop my brain from remembering her; from wondering why it was that I couldn’t stop thinking about this woman I had never even really touched. Was touching someone the definitive way to know you want them? I had kissed her, never touched more than her face or neck, yet I knew I wanted her. For more than sex.
I thought by now, three months later, her face, the way her lips felt, her voice sounded, would be whispers of a memory, easy to ignore and forget. Instead, I could still hear and smell her as if it was only moments ago she kissed me in Shay’s driveway, and in the bathroom of the diner. When my mouth said no, but every other part of me, said yes. Yes please. Don’t stop. Ever. Then when she did it again, wiped coffee of my skin and set it on fire. Told me she liked me. She didn’t really know me; she wouldn’t like me if she did.
I needed to get her out of my head. I had weeks before I needed to be anywhere. I drove east. To the town Shay and I had grown up in. My family still lived here.
I pulled into the short driveway of the tiny 2-bedroom, ranch house. I hadn’t been here in 8 months. If I had a home-base, this was it. It was where I had spent the only happy days of my teen years. Shay’s parents’ home.
The neighbors checked in on it every week for me. I usually called ahead and told them I was coming for a while but hadn’t this time. The front door unlocked easily, and I was assaulted with the only sense of home I had ever known.
It hadn’t changed much, well at all, since Shay and I were teens. No one had lived here full time since her parents died. She didn’t come here much, the memory of her parents and losing them was hard on her, on us both. I took the house after all was said and done, unable to let it go.
Pictures of Shay at every stage of her childhood lined the walls and nearly every horizontal surface. There was more than a few of me mixed in. I picked up one of the four of us. Shay and I were 18. I had just moved in and they wanted to commemorate the day. Make sure I knew I was home. It was before I had tattoos, although not by much. I got the Phoenix only a few days later. Shay’s mom gave me the idea.
The next few hours were spent emptying the Rover and filling up mine and Shay’s old bedroom. I called and got the internet turned back on and sat down to watch some tv. My stomach growled but there was no food in the house. And I couldn’t cook anyways. I would have to get to the store tomorrow and at least get something in here that resembled food.
There kağıthane escort was a knock on the door. I paused the movie and went to answer it.
“Lena! It is you.”
Patty, the entirely too bubbly neighbor who looked after the house for me, stated the glaringly obvious. Smile Lena. Just smile and be nice.
“Hey Patty! Come in.”
She had a casserole dish in her arms. Maybe I wouldn’t starve tonight after all. She walked in and went right to the kitchen turning on the oven as she did.
“I figured you would be hungry, so I made you this.”
I had no idea what was in the dish and didn’t care. I thanked her. I was grateful not to have to go out tonight or go hungry.
“How’s everything? How’s Shay? How long are you here for?” She fired off the same stream of questions she asked me anytime I showed up here.
“Everything is good. Shay is great and I’m not sure. Probably a few weeks.” I had no place to be, no new clients to set up or work with, so unless an issue arises somewhere, I was staying put for the foreseeable future.
“Excellent. Well, let that heat up for 25-30 minutes and it should feed you for a few meals at least. Great to see you again Lena.” She gave me a quick hug and went back home.
I showered, ate and crawled into bed. Tomorrow would be some shopping and cleaning.
**
The house was stocked with as much as I was capable of reheating. l had done laundry and gotten the place all aired out and livable again. I was dressed and ready to go for a run.
My feet slapped along the roads I knew so well. I ran by my old church and school. I had as many good memories of those days as bad. Through the park Shay and I spent many summer days just soaking up the sun. I avoided the street my parents still lived on, the house I grew up in. Those memories weren’t welcomed right now.
Back home, I sat down and worked for hours, totally lost track of time. My phone rang, pulling me away from lines of code.
Shay. I smiled. I missed her. We talked for hours. She was doing really well, everything seemed status quo in Small Town USA. Ruby said hi, Michelle too. I told her where I was.
“For how long?”
I told her I wasn’t sure. A few more weeks at least.
“That’s it, I’m coming for the weekend. I miss you.” Small Town USA was only a 5-hour drive away.
I couldn’t help but be excited to spend time with her. My time living with her, had gotten me used to having someone to talk to all the time. I missed that. More than I was willing to admit even to myself.
She arrived a few days later and I felt like a teenager again, the two of us in this house. It was different than being at her place. We had a lifetime of memories locked inside these walls. In that little back bedroom, the one I ended up sharing with her on summer breaks and when we were home from college, pre-teen me told her I liked girls. The awkward giggles from both of us that day still lingered in the air.
She never wavered in her friendship with me after I spoke those words. In true Shay form, all I got was a, “Good. No competing over cute boys because you are way too pretty, I’d never win.” She was wrong, she was a different pretty; she was downright adorable. I had a crush on her for about 30 seconds in 4th grade. She turned out to be a pretty good wingman as we got older, even if she was sometimes too naïve for her own good.
Not even two days later, she told her parents. I wanted to die that day, sitting at their kitchen table eating Lucky Charms. I always had Lucky Charms for breakfast at Shay’s, my parents didn’t allow it in theirs. Two boxes were in the kitchen on the counter right now.
Her parents looked at each other, looked at me and Shay, then her mom said, “Okay.” And it was never a thing. They loved me the same way they always had, in a way different from my own blood. I was more at home in their house than I ever was in the one I was living in at the time. I knew now that they had known about me long before I did. Or rather, before I understood who I was. Grace told me that when I was still battling them about finding my place in the adult world.
We were laying on the couch, legs tangled up as we watched tv. The day had been spent together at the park, goofing around, eating junk food and just enjoying each other. She was leaving in the morning. I was sadder than I should have been. Then I had the right to be. It was my choice to leave her, I could have stayed. She would have let me stay forever. Instead, I ran away. It’s what I did best, second only to writing code.
“You should come visit soon Leens.”
I avoided responding. We finished the movie and went to bed. The next morning, she cooked, we laughed some more, then I watched her drive away. She tried to make me promise to visit soon, I was done making Shay promises.
Another week had passed, I was going stir crazy. I ran every day, and thus far had avoided seeing any of my family. I was sure they knew I was in town; word had a way of traveling when it came to me and my family. That all ended that day.
I ran, literally, into my older brother as I rounded the corner, turning back on to my street. It was warm out, so every visible tattoo was on display. I hadn’t seen Iain since Shay’s parents’ funeral.
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